Courage.

We lost the campaign today. We lost by 44 votes.

I've been sitting on the same spot on my couch for nearly four hours now thinking (and texting people in between of course) and just trying to process everything. I'm still definitely in denial, that's without a question. The what ifs could stretch for miles and prolong the pain, but as Logan's older brother Brandon said, regret truly serves no purpose.

I can't remember the last time I hurt this much for someone who has tried so hard. The most familiar thing I can remember is watching my little brother come home crying after losing a student council election in elementary school. I remember my mom telling me that day and asking me to go comfort him. I remember finding him in his room crying and wanting to beat up all of those little elementary school kids since I was a big, bad middle-schooler at the time. Unfortunately, beating up people isn't an option anymore at this age, especially since I'm a foot shorter than everyone now and there are 30,000 kids at this school.

This campaign has literally been my life since Logan briefly mentioned it to me the day before I left for Thanksgiving break. It's been even more so a part of Taylor and Logan's lives well before. I'm lost without it, but in all honesty, I could care less about the work that I've put in. Thinking about how much they've been through to come so close is where the pain point is.




So what?
I've been thinking a lot about courage in the past week. Courage, as defined by google, is the ability to do something that frightens one or is strength in the face of pain or grief. The root of the word courage comes from cor, the Latin root for heart.

It takes enough courage to do what is right. It takes even more courage to stand up for what is right.

During campaign season, it all comes out. We aren't oblivious to what the school thinks of BYUSA. We aren't unaware of how so many think "they don't do anything for me" or "they can't do anything for me". We know. Yet regardless of how much we got mocked and ridiculed, we still care, and people like Taylor and Logan care even more to make a difference.

I've realized what amazing examples of courage Taylor and Logan have been to me over this whole campaign. Taylor and Logan will forever be my heroes because of the courage, and most importantly, heart, that it's taken them to be able to push through everything we've gone through and continue to keep their chins up and keep running because of how much they love serving students and how much they love BYU. Our campaign had nothing to do with the glory that Taylor and Logan would have received in those positions, but truly was about the students. It really was about you.

Now what?
A "think different" campaign that Apple did a handful of years ago centered their campaign around the idea that the people who think they are crazy enough to change the world are the people who end up changing the world.

Although I'll be sad for two of my best friends and we'll be sad collectively for a second, true effort applied correctly is never wasted. Sure, our campaign may end here, but everything that we've created together will live forever. Memories. Friendships. Lessons. Those are all ours to keep that no one can take away.

I shared this thought with Scott that I found yesterday morning, feel like it really applies to the experiences we've had lately:

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith 

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway. 

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway. 

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway. 

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway. 

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway. 

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway. 

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway. 

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway. 

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway. 

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

The reality of life is that, as Taylor and Logan did, you have to step out of your comfort zone and have the courage to make a difference. You can't live your life half-heartedly and paralyze yourself by being scared to fail. If you're doing your hardest to achieve what you've set your heart on, failures are impossible.  You'll progress along the way, and if things don't work out how you've expected, it's just nothing but a new opportunity and new lesson to be learned.

So be crazy. Believe that you can do hard things, like Logan's girlfriend Chandler told me--because you can do hard things. And most of all, have some heart. If you need some good examples, I know two good guys who wold be just the guys to talk to.

To my brothers, Taylor and Logan--proud to walk beside you and support you always in all that you do. Love you to no end.