Strengthening bridges.

So much to catch up on, but quite frankly, you don't need an update on my life and that's not why you're reading this--you can stalk me on Facebook or Instagram if you'd really like, I'm pretty good at keeping up with that and posting well.

Life. Am I ever going to get it?

I ask myself that almost everyday. When am I going to find time to manage my time better? When am I going to find time to fix my grades? When am I going to find time (and money) to date? Can I just run away and have a break?

Last semester was the most tiring and challenging semester I've ever been through. With the creation of Beyond Measure, school, and working three jobs, my life was nothing short of complicated (not that your life is any easier).

I fell in every area of my life--socially, spiritually, emotionally, academically, physically--you name it. I had no time for my friends, J. Crew and the MTC were taking my time on Sundays for church, I was consistently upset or depressed, my grades were the worst they had ever been, and on top of everything, I barely had time to eat. All time low for Eric doesn't even describe my semester last year.

As if being in your twenties isn't hard enough. We are all lost. We are all behind in school. We are all trying to make it. But what happens when doors continue to shut on you, you dream but you can't figure out if those dreams are even worth reaching for, and it seems like no matter how much you try, it just seems like failure is your best friend? Let's not even mention the fact that no one invites you to things and you spend all of your weekends alone. Isn't there a point when life is just too much?

So what?
I'm not extremely versed when it comes to literature, but I do love reading church books. Last summer, my friend McKay let me borrow (I know, it's February and I still haven't returned it) a book called, Look Up my Soul by Elder Lund--a book about hope. There was a story in there about strengthening bridges that particularly hit me that I love sharing. Here's a short summary:

Two Christian missionaries in Africa were assigned to transport saw mill and well-drilling equipment a distance of about 250 miles. As the husband and wife began trucking the supplies, they realized a big problem. They had to cross many weakly constructed bridges over small swampy streams and large, crocodile-infested rivers. They shed as much weight as much as possible from the truck, but it wasn’t enough. Finally, a decision was made. 

“The husband said, ‘I cannot lighten the load any more, therefore I have to strengthen the bridges.’ He carried poles on the truck and strengthened the bridge, then took it apart after they crossed,” Elder Lund said. “I love that metaphor — in these times we are in, politically, economically, socially, with terrorism, all the other things, I don’t think the Lord can say, ‘I’ll just lighten the load for you.’ But he does say, ‘I can help you strengthen the bridges,’ and hope is the major way he does that.” The husbands wife closes, "In any heartbreak there is just so much hurt, so much pain, so much loneliness. Those are part of human experience and God does not always deaden them or take them away. But though He does not always lighten the load, He does reinforce the bridge."

I've thought about this story a lot and it never really made sense to me until a couple days ago. I've been convinced that spiritually, when I go through trials, the only tools I have to reinforce myself and strengthen myself are prayer and scripture study, but sometimes, that doesn't seem like enough and I get frustrated. Do you ever feel that way?

I realized something past these things though.

I had a counselor once tell me that there will never be any kind of depression medication that will be created that will ever be as powerful as a good, healthy relationship.

Our lives revolve around the relationships that we have and the things we create with those people. The single most important relationships that drive me personally as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are my relationships with God, my Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ. Those relationships drive everything that happens in my life. Next my relationships with all the people I love in no particular order, be they family or friends. And finally, my relationship with myself.

At the end of last semester, I randomly made friends with four people who have since changed my life. That sounds cliche and cheesy and gay and stupid, but it is the naked and transparent truth. People can and may possibly be, one of the only things that can change your life--and when I say people, I mean yourself included.

I did this thing that I've wanted to keep up on on Instagram right before Thanksgiving, but haven't done it since. I wrote about people that I was thankful for and why I was thankful for them. Since I haven't really kept up, I'd say here's a great avenue to pick up where I've left off. Allow me to introduce you to my new support group.

I met Logan first. I have a strange obsession with socks if you don't know, and one day in the BYUSA office, I had mentioned that J. Crew was having a huge blowout sale and Logan had mentioned that he wanted some socks. I ended up getting him some and drove up with him one day to help him apply for a position which I wasn't too much of a help getting since I ended up quitting. I met everyone else through Logan.

I love Logan because he will drop and sacrifice anything for his friends. He is the friend that will stay up until 1:00 a.m. with you just to talk or come early to and skip class later to help you with an activity you've planned and are running. He is the friend that will actually pick up the phone and call you just to see how you are doing.

One of the things that Logan's said that really has touched me, that I feel really describes him was actually during one of our few gym experiences together haha. We are by no means "bros" but while we were on the bench the other day, he killed me. Something he said stuck with me though. When we had stacked the weights on both sides far more than I thought I could handle, he looked straight at me and said, "You can do it. I'll be right here the whole time. I'm not going anywhere." There are few other words that describe Logan better than that quote. That is the very essence of Logan and his friendship with others. People as kind as Logan is are few and far between.

I met Scott last summer at an iPod dance party, but we never became close until I invited him to come on the huge Beyond Measure, Christmas group date. We started talking and texting back and forth, and eventually Scott became one of my best friends.

Scott's a different kind of guy that it takes awhile to get to know and understand. I love Scott because he is one of the most patient people I know, that is hard to offend and understands, more than anyone else I know, what it truly means to bear another's burdens. One of my most heart-warming memories I have with Scott was over Christmas break. I was having a really rough night and tried to get a hold of him really late. When I texted him to ask if he was still awake, he responded, "I'm always here." That is what Scott lives by. Whether it be random, unannounced trips to your place to make sure you're okay, or short, heart-warming messages, Scott spends his life helping those who have no one else.

I met Taylor randomly through him reaching out to me through BYUSA--this is a rare thing. I usually am the person to reach out and make friends, but when someone reaches out to me, that doesn't go unnoticed.

Taylor knows how to love and how to show love. He's that guy who walks around the office everyday and gives good hugs (because you know there are some people who aren't good at that). He tries his best to get to know everyone and sincerely cares and worries about everyone. He'll be the guy that sends you a text when you're having a bad day so see what's actually bothering you and if you're okay.

This could sound strange, but what I love about Taylor the most is that he lets me help him and reminds me that he's also not perfect. It's a mutually benefitting relationship. There's something special about about when your friends trust you enough to turn to you for help as well and then help you when you need it in return. There aren't many people that will trust you enough to let you into their lives, and it makes me feel important to someone when they trust me to see their imperfections and aren't stingy with letting their self be helped.

I met Paulo last, but didn't actually really meet Paulo or need to meet Paulo, if that makes sense. You know that person that all of your friends are friends with that you hear about all the time who has also hears about you? That was me and Paulo--no introductions needed. Treated me like a brother right off the bat.

Paulo is the person that everyone loves because he is the most genuine person you will ever meet. I say that about everyone, but I really mean this about Paulo. He is a soft-spoken kind of caring. When he asks how you are doing, he looks at you and actually wants to know how you are doing and is very, very sincere in everything he says. What I love the most about Paulo is that he is really generous with real compliments. He's thankful of everyone he meets and knows how to express that well. People love being validated and knowing that they are doing good things. Paulo is really good at letting people know.

What's different about these four guys than any other four guys I've ever known is that there is a give and take between all five of us. None of us are the same. In fact, we are all extremely different on so many levels. But that's what makes having each other great. We are brothers in every sense of the word. When one of us needs help or is hurting, we are all there to support. Whatever the situation may be, we are in it together.

Now what?
I've found out that in my life, the best way for me to strengthen myself is to strengthen my relationships. This gives way to everything else. When my relationships are the healthiest, I am the happiest, and when I'm the happiest, I succeed in all areas of my life.

Trials these days come in all shapes, forms, and sizes, and the funny part is, they don't seem to get any easier as life goes on. Regardless, nothing brings me more comfort and peace than to know that, as Jeffrey R. Holland says, "In this church--there will always be someone to stand beside you."

If you're having a hard time, your GPA sucks, and you're so busy with life that you feel like you can't breathe, take a moment to step back and remember what matters most in your life. You're not alone in your experiences. You're not alone period.

As Scott says, in 100 years, what you will remember and things that will matter are the times that you helped people and the times that you let people help you. The best way to help yourself is by helping others. That's a fact. Fill your life with and draw strength from trusted loved ones to sustain you in times of need. In them you'll find God in the most tangible form.

You may not become part of a wannabe boy band or fab five set of friends like I have, but that's irrelevant. There are people all around you that need your help and can help you. Share your burdens. Strengthen yourself. Remember--everyone you meet can be your best friend.