Sometimes in the midst of everything, I forget how good life is to me. No matter how hard things seem to be sometimes, there is always someone that has it worse. My mom always tells me that I have a dangerous want for everything I don't have and that I always seem to think that the grass is greener on the other side. Well, like everything else in my life, she's right.
For some reason, I want my life to be perfect. Josh always used to tell me to find the sunshine in my life. Everyone has dark spots, but that's completely normal. There was a point in my life where I thought there was literally something wrong with me and I was just a chronically depressed person; possibly even suffering from clinical depression. So I went and saw a counselor who basically told me that I was completely normal and actually better off then most. I told him that I'd say probably six out of seven days of the week I was happy; most times even seven out of seven. What I found out is that I tend to take the bad things and just accent on them.
Yesterday, I finally realized how good I really do have it. I'm at a great school, surrounded by great people, and I have the best friends I could ever ask for. I've lost some, but gained some in the process and I can't seem to pinpoint where exactly or why I would complain about anything in my life. I have a roof over my head, a family who is well off through these rough financial times, for the most part, anything I could ever want, a great brain, a good support system, and a bright future ahead. Sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel unwanted, and sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough. I've come to realize though that those things aren't important. What's matters is that most times I feel loved, most times I feel happy, and most times I feel like I do a lot of good for myself and other people. Yeah, I mess up sometimes, but I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
I had a huge psychology test yesterday that I was really stressing about because I haven't been keeping up with that class (mostly because it's taught so strangely). I studied really hard for it and after I took the test I felt like I did really well! So it was time to relax for the night and do something that makes me happy: play music. Corbin and I got together after dinner and attempted to put together a prelude number for Sunday. We weren't too successful but boy was it good to play again. Afterwards I went and annoyed Addison for a bit then went to Sonic with Chandler, Cameron, and Rick. It was a bit of a random experience but so much fun. Rick thought it'd be funny to get the orders and pay through the moonroof and Cameron decided to pay with all change. When it was time to pay and get the orders the lady just looked at us like we were a bunch of idiots. Cameron dropped like half his change so they were missing to pennies to cover it all but the lady was so fed up with it that she just said whatever and left haha.
Around midnight Chan and I decided to go to IHOP and grab Lyndsey and Addison to go too. We had an awesome waitress who's name was Connie and taught us how to cheat the menu and told us funny stories of her in high school. All in good company the night was well full of funny jokes, great stories, and lots and lots of laughs. I couldn't have asked for a better night with better people to spend with.
At first, Spring semester was hard. Helaman was empty and all my friends that I had grown to love were gone. But now, I realize how great of a blessing and what a great idea it was to stay. We've all gotten so close so fast and I've grown to love each and every person here. I have exactly four weeks left until I'll be home and although I'm excited to go home and go to Hawaii, I'll be really sad to leave my friends behind here.
By the way, if you haven't watched the latest episode of glee and need motivation to achieve your dreams, you should definitely hulu that sucker.
Don't forget, when you think you have it bad, realize that you have so much more to be thankful for.
Did I mention that Addison got us some bomb flags for the places where serving our missions?
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